Hi there, I thought I would reflect on what it is like to be back at work. It is nice to feel the warmth of former colleagues and recognise familiar faces but what is also familiar is the tightening of the stomach and the hunch of the shoulders. I think my problem is I care too much about my own opinions!! Surprise surprise. I am ruminative and at my age it’s time I stopped. I don’t mean stop caring however.
I want to be able to finance my new life so it is a matter of striking the right balance of doing a little work to ensure I can sustain this life. I noticed immediately how much more money I spent on parking, lunch, dinner, etc. and almost had a sense of entitlement to do so. I think this is a trap I really don’t want to fall in to.
For inspiration I always go back to the blog http://down—to—earth.blogspot.co.nz/
My partner thinks I get far too involved in news items and horrible happenings and it’s true I do and there’s certainly no point if I don’t intend to do anything about it. The poem below is one I wrote for our last exercise to the Iowa poetry MOOC I’m doing. There are 75 New Zealanders on it and I have linked up with a couple who I hope will want to continue sharing their writing afterwards.
My poem is in response to some of the hideous acts of violence against vulnerable children.
Shedding new light on old walls
bison and mammoth images in blurry outline,
glimpsed in fleeting white beams of life.
Children’s hands printed surely across the ceiling
on the shoulders of mothers and fathers
by firelight ancient and wavering.
Was it language? Was it play? And
Were their perfect bodies thrown carelessly
To the cave floor? Or is it just today
Dads, stepfathers, kick and maim at will
No will, ill will, I will, freewill
I can, I will because I can.
Baby flesh and blood, and more blood
And flesh, fresh blood/meat
Speakable horror, upon horror
Oh baby, baby.
No easing of troubles, easy trouble,
easy meat. Smashing, bruising,
breaking, sucking baby thumbs, oh baby, baby.
Soft curve of fontanel, so tender, such easy
reach, pressing, hard, harder, shaking
splitting, spilling, font, fountain, fend, faltering
Father, fiend, fractured, frightened to death.
Shed old light on new walls quickly, quickly.
Does poetry influence or is it just a pretentious toss into the void?